For my birthday on the 8th...
Friends.
-nod-
I mean I only have like... 3 rl friends.
I don't hang out with them much... either they don't have the time or they just don't come by.

I mean I love them I really do, but what I want is friends that will make time for me whenever we can possibly have time to get together.

And hang out, waste our money on junk we don't need, like anime, games, or maybe cosplay stuff.

What I wouldn't give to have a day of cosplaying and real life roleplaying what we cosplay with a few friends.
lol

But I mean for as long as I can remember, I've never really had friends. And what ones I did have growing up turned on me, moved away, or were play out hateful to me at times.

I love the 3 I have, but you know... it takes more than just knowing them and hearing from them every now and then. Not knowing if they even still care or are even alive for that matter.

Friendship works more than just getting a random call here and there, and it takes it's toll on me wondering when they'll call, when I'll see them again and such.

I swear in the past year, I feel closer to the friends I've made online than ANY FRIEND I've ever made in real life.

I wanna do something simple and fun and maybe even childish on my birthday, I mean yeah, I'm going on 22... but you know, I really miss the fun I had just running around pretending to be a person from a cartoon or something.

I don't see the fun in going out to a club and getting drunk or dancing with a ton of drunks so that'll probably never be something I'll go and do.

I wanna do something like... go skating, go to a park and scare people by Real life roleplaying on the playgrounds (come on no one can tell me they never played with friends pretending to be someone from something you liked growing up xD), or go bowling (MAY or may not happen), or like go to someplace fun and nice and be able to be there all day instead of being told to hurry up so we can leave.

Or spend a day at the mall seeing how many people I can make lose The Game. >: D

I dunno... I wanna have fun that involves the stuff I enjoyed growing up. And I want to do it with friends. Or make some more friends...

I guess I just realize that time is really passing by... and I feel so alone anymore. I'm no longer as carefree as I used to be, I try to be, but... it gets so hard when all you can think of is depressing thoughts and you really have no one around other than a mom who half the time blocks out the stuff you say.

And at this point in time I can barely see what I'm typing.

I guess what I'm saying I really want... is to have fun to be able to REALLY smile instead of putting on an act. Even if it is only for one day.

The fact that I saw my nephew walk without help in my moms face.
Ahahah.

//evil

Ok I'm not going to be doing it in a mean way. XD

I'm excited that I got to see him walk like that on his own.

Andand I went to put my niece on the computer and he was walking after me when I came back in the living room.

//spazzing

He started walking as I started singing Magic Dance to him to watch him dance as he held onto this toy he pushes around, cause I'd start signing along and I noticed he only danced when I sang. And he let go and started walking over to me.

itsthepowerofdavidbowie coughcough Ok not really. XD

I started squeeing it was sooo cute. Cause he was trying not to fall as he did it.

And he also walked all the way across the room to me.
And we high-fived. : D

I had two weeks off from babysitting.
For one, my mom was off work for those two weeks and two, I was sick with a really bad sinus infection.
My face was soooo swollen, I'm still clearing up D:

Now I'm working again, it took all my strength to roll out of bed at 6 this morning.
And the kids are nappinggg.
And I'm cold and wasting time on here and on Hex. <3333

Planning to put in Labyrinth. <3
Or maybe Star Trek.
Or something. lol

So far this year is going okish.

My birthday is coming up on the eighth... I'll be 22.
I told mom I want my cake to say Happy Birthday Haya instead of my real name, cause I hate my real name. I wonder if she'll do it. >.>

I may get to go bowling on my birthday toooo. : D
My friend wants to go too, we'll be trying to talk her into it. -nod-
I mean heck, I could ride my bike (I GOT MY BIKE BACK ON CHRISTMASSS YAY) to the alley if I have to. XD But I won't go alone. It's not so fun alone.

AND OMGGG ANOTHER THING
I love how me and a certain someone talked on the phoneeee the other day. <333 YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. : D
I loved how we spent 10+hrs on the phone that day!

I mean seriously, we don't even PERSONALLY know each other and to talk like that for soooo long omg <3333

MAKES ME HAPPY. : D
And now I know she's not a creepy old pervy man. XDDD

ILY MAH SPOCK. : D

Yes it is the end of 09, it's now 2010.

Happy year of the Luxord people. XD

The first thing I said to mom was it's the year of the Luxord in a British accent. XD
Mom looked at me like I was crazy.

Damn you Demyx Time. lol <3333

But yes people it's now 2010.
: D
I do hope this year is good to me. God knows the last two weren't. D:

2009, to think at midnight it'll be 2010.
I'm kinda scared. 2009 started off badly for me to be honest. D:
Most years do it seems. D:

I hate change.

So bye-bye year of the Demyx, and hello year of the Luxord. XD I'm going to gamble and see if I strike it rich. lmao I'm no Luxord sooo I fail at anything that involves cards unless it's Uno.

Curse you Demyx Time. XD For now I see the years like that. lmao

And soon I'll be 22. D:
I'm getting old.

Someone stop Jan. 8th from coming?